Originally published July 2009.

In the book,  Relationships & the Law of Attraction, by Abraham-Hicks publications, it said, “ We attract relationships that cause us pain because we need to affirm our core beliefs about ourselves and we attract the relationships we need to help us grow.”  But what does it mean when we experience pain in a seemingly healthy, loving relationship?  It is within that relationship where we are safe and unconditionally loved that we often experience the most pain as we try to re-enact an old pattern, heal a deeper wound, and begin to mature emotionally.  That relationship becomes the greenhouse that allows our soul to bloom.

It’s safe to be alone and work on ourselves.  We can totally focus on our own personal development and self-growth.  We might feel intermittent loneliness but any deep underlying insecurities may not arise.  Any defenses and old patterns of behavior go into remission because we aren’t triggered by another person.  

 If we do grow, chances are that we will become very attractive.  There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who exudes self-confidence, well-being, and a beauty that can only come from within.  If we’ve progressed very far, we’ll attract a safer, more loving relationship than the last one.  

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust

Photo courtesy of Olga from Flickr.com

The truth of what is going on inside of us at the core vibrational level always manifests in the physical world.  If we are holding onto grief, we may develop a respiratory infection in our lungs.  If we're refusing to be open-minded, we may develop a stiff neck.  If we have cluttered minds and spiritual closets, we may alo have cluttered homes, offices, or cars.  Our spiritual truth will show up somewhere in our lives.
 

This year my truth showed up in my flower garden.  The photo to the right is how the flower bed is supposed to look.  The truth is that this year, I did not pay attention to it.  Pink primrose took over early in the season nearly choking out the rest of the flowers.  Weeds and crabgrass threatened to take over.  There is no mulch to hold in the moisture.  There's been no fertilizer to feed the tender young plants.  I wasn't paying attention.

It's been much the same with my own energy.  I wasn't paying attention to the weeds of negative thought that were popping up.  I was distracted by pretty things, easy things.  Although I am practiced at a daily routine of self-care, there were certain parts of myself that I failed to nurture, and I was totally distracted by injuring my knee playing soccer.

See the similarities?  Now in July, I have started watering my flowerbed.  The pink primrose have been yanked out by the handfuls.  Each day I go out into the flowerbed to work for a few minutes to stay ahead of the weeds.  It's beginning to turn around.  It's beginning to look like the picture.

Every time I weed the flowerbed I say to myself, "I'm weeding the garden of my mind.  I'm weeding the garden of my heart."

Where is your core energy showing up in your life?  How has it appeared to remind you to pay attention?

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Even the richest soil, if left uncultivated will produce the rankest weeds.  ~Leonardo da Vinci

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First published July 2009.

This morning I applied Miracle Gro, Shake ‘n Feed to my flowering bushes.  The container for the fertilizer was straightforward - a large green plastic bottle with a spout.  After I removed the cap, I went out to the flower bed, opened the spout, and turned the bottle upside down.  Nothing happened.  Being a slow learner, I flipped the spout back and forth a couple of times and tried to shake the bottle again before I realized, “there must be an inner seal.”

As I was shaking fertilizer around the base of the hydrangea bushes (that I nearly killed from not paying attention), I started thinking about how the directions of the fertilizer were directions for personal development and spiritual growth.

• Remove the inner seal.
• Work into soil.
• Water.
• Reapply in three months.

So it is with spiritual growth and personal development.  All those superficial measures we make in saying affirmations, doing visualizations, and going to workshops will not nurture us until we remove the inner seal to our hearts and souls.   What is our inner seal?  It is the layers of feelings, thoughts, and actions of our defenses that seal us inside ourselves.  It forms a protective barrier within us and around us to protect the core beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us.  To truly grow and bloom, first we must be willing to remove that inner seal.

Life experiences give us ample opportunity to open our inner seal.  Each painful experience or relationship that feels like it is breaking our hearts is really an invitation to open our hearts, examine ourselves, and to let go of the core beliefs that block our growth.  The key to the outcome of this process is our free will, our perception.  With each experience, we have the choice to either leave our hearts open or to add another layer of defenses to our inner seal.

Even if we do choose to remove the inner seal that blocks us from personal growth, we cannot take actions that are only skin deep.  When we do not diligently tend to the new seeds of thought planted by doing affirmations, reading self-help books, and attending workshops, there will be no lasting benefit.  All the positive energy we receive in those brief encounters is only temporary.  The directions for the fertilizer say, “work into soil, water, and reapply in three months.”  So too must new thoughts, feelings, actions be worked into the soil of our minds and hearts.  We must water them with daily attention and reapply them through persistent practice for sustainable growth.

For me, there is connectedness in all things.  I see spiritual growth and personal development in gardening.  What thoughts and feelings does this bring up for you?  Are you aware of the inner seal  that blocks you from having better relationships and living life on purpose? 

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There’s more room in a broken heart.  Carly Simon, Coming Around Again